2W+3D

I took a break because I had a setback.

I didn’t really want to talk about it because it was weird and nobody really knows what caused it. But I have a post-surgery appointment today and I’m hoping to have some clarification. We’ll see.

Last week, for no apparent reason, I started feeling dizzy and agitated when vertical. That means, if I went to the bathroom, tried to take a shower, or even sat in a chair, I felt like I was going to throw up. I had a hard time even sitting up in bed.

When it was time to eat (nothing sounded good), I would pull myself up, high enough so I wouldn’t choke, eat a little broth, then slide back down. It was not fun.

Besides feeling nauseous and lightheaded, my brain felt like it wasn’t all the way plugged in. Or, if it was, the plug was fritzing. I don’t know how else to describe it. I couldn’t focus on anything, no matter how hard I tried, and I was irritable. Is it because I felt yucky and couldn’t focus? Or was I just grouchy?

It seemed to happen fairly quickly, but I was having a hard time thinking it through logically. Had it actually been happening for days, but just to a lighter extent?

When I called the surgeon’s office and talked to his nurse, she said it sounded like drug withdrawal. I agreed. EXCEPT, I hadn’t stopped taking the medicine. I had SLIGHTLY lowered it (because I am on a mission to be off of it completely), but nothing drastic. Not at all. She agreed that what I was doing was completely reasonable and should not be causing problems.

But I was having problems, so I started a steroid.

(Actually getting the steroid was a whole tale of woe, because of “Missy’s Law” and all that, but eventually I did get it and it helped.)

Once my head cleared, I started to think. Now, usually, my overthinking is a curse. But when there is an actual problem (not just made-up scenarios in my head), overthinking can be helpful.

Here’s my theory: When I stopped taking the dangerous medicines together, my body freaked out.

Now, of course it is a good thing that I found out that I shouldn’t be taking them together (see: 1W+4D), and I stopped taking them together. Because, you know, I could die. But I had been taking them together for 10 days when I found that out. Several times a day. And then I just stopped.

I didn’t stop taking the medication, I just started staggering them, which is apparently what I was supposed to be doing in the first place.

Do you think that makes a difference?

* insert shrug *

Doesn’t it seem like healing should be easier? I mean, we all get cuts and bruises all the time. Some of us more than others. But I think, as a whole, it is a pretty common thing. We all know that if you get a bruise, you should ice it and it goes away a little bit faster. Like, it looks nasty, and changes colors, but each day it slowly changes and gets better until one day it is gone. Same for a cut. We wash it with soap, maybe put some antibiotic cream on it, slap a bandaid on it (if it is bad enough), and eventually it heals. It’s this slow but steady process of moving towards being healed. Mostly, we just sit back and let our body do the work.

Time is the great healer of all wounds.

I think I’m just frustrated. And going a little stir-crazy.