35 - Losing it

I lose things all of the time. And after about 30 seconds of looking, I am convinced someone took it. I didn’t misplace it or forget where I placed it. Someone else stole it or moved it. It’s my ‘go to’ response. 

No matter how many times I talk to myself and tell myself, “nobody hid your jacket,” I don’t believe it. It has to be someone else because I distinctly remember hanging it up where it belongs. Except I didn’t. So it isn’t there. Later, it magically appears in the car. Oh yeah! I grabbed it on my way to the store because I thought it might get chilly.

I live in Colorado so that is a valid concern. I just don’t remember the scenario because I don’t actually use the jacket. And because I don’t use it, I don’t remember to take it back in the house when I return. I forget that it even exists. Until I need it and can’t find it.

Recently, I took my husband to an appointment because we weren’t sure if he would feel up to driving home. I sat there for two hours, bored out of my mind. I forgot to take my kindle. Which is probably just as well because I had forgotten to download a movie. When he is finally done, I drive us to the store to drop off his prescription. They have an in-store Starbucks and we both decide to get coffee. It was at that moment that I realize I don’t have my wallet. No matter how many times I lift all of the receipts and look under my phone, it isn’t there. Where is my wallet?

He pays.

He drives us home.

I’m not too worried because it probably is at home. I am so unfazed that by the time I get home, I forget to look for it. I forget. To look for my wallet. That has all of my credit cards, my license and my military ID. I just…forget.

Until the next day when I am talking to my daughter about her sunglasses. That she left at my house.

…

…

…slow…

…dawning realization…

…there is something I should be looking for…

Oh, yeah! I should really find my wallet!

I start with my purse’s “home.” That is where I have decided that if I am in the house, my purse goes on this specific shelf. I remember to put it there about 75% of the time. Which is a pretty good statistic for someone such as myself! But it isn’t there.

I look at other places where my purse randomly ends up: the counter in the kitchen, the stairs, the couch, my room, my husband’s office, my car. When the wallet isn’t there, I start to panic. I ask my boys for help and we look in all of those places again as well as the bathroom, inside the coffee table, trash cans, and the laundry room. I’m known for carrying things around and setting them down in the most ridiculous places. So nothing is off limits for looking. 

Honestly, my boys are so used to helping me look, that they just start looking in all of the same places they always look. It’s not always my wallet. As a matter of fact, it usually isn’t my wallet. It’s my phone. Or my purse. Or glasses. Or shoes. Or jacket. It can honestly be any number of things. 

And usually, it is found rather quickly. Having fresh eyes (that aren’t convinced the thing was stolen) makes the process quicker.

Alas! This time is fruitless. Nowhere to be found.

I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and will myself to find it. Wallet, come to me!

I decide I won’t find it if I continue to look. I should stop thinking about it and it will eventually appear. Yeah, right! Like I’m going to magically stop thinking about it!

I’m right, you know. This isn’t a jacket. It’s my wallet. I won’t stop thinking about it until I find it. The ramifications of not finding it are a whole lot bigger! Holy crap! I need to find it!

I go through the last time I remember having it. Two days ago, I went to pick up my medicine. I went to pick up groceries. I got my boys lunch. I went to another store because the first store didn’t have my creamer. 

Ok, did I leave it at the last store? Maaayyybe. Try to think of other places first.

The last time I remember having it was two days ago, but honestly, I might have had it yesterday. Still, I have to start somewhere. Start with two days ago when shopping.

Did I accidentally drop it in the garage trash can when I threw out the car trash? Boy, that would just be my luck! Trying to be organized, I cleaned out the car as soon as we got home. Maybe I should go back to being lazy!!

Hmm.. The trash was picked up the following day (yesterday). Hopefully, my boys missed collecting the garage trash! No such luck. Of course, the one time the boys remember to take it out…

My brain won’t stop thinking about how much of a pain it will be to replace everything. 

Credit cards and debit cards are a nuisance to replace. 

A license is a bit more effort and embarrassment, but still doable.

But a military ID? That’s like being five years old and going to the principal's office and explaining why you were a jerk to the teacher. Blood drained from my extremities and I broke out in a cold sweat. I started bargaining with God.

Finally, although I didn’t expect it to be true, I called the last place I actually remembered using it. “Do you have a yellow wallet?”

Is your name Melissa? Do you have a bunch of cards and cash in your wallet?

Usually, I don’t. But this time? Yes. Yes I do. It was both painful and joyous to hear the words come from his mouth. I deserve the joking. Thank God it is there!! Blissful relief!

It was IN THE STORE when I was AT the in-store Starbucks and realized my wallet wasn’t in my purse. But it wasn’t until the following day that I realized where it was. My wallet was there for two days. And I had been in and out twice, never thinking that it was there. 

The funny thing is, no one stole it. Someone had the perfect opportunity to steal it. But they didn’t. They turned it in to the Lost and Found. 

And still?

Next time something is missing? I didn’t misplace it or forget where I placed it.

I didn’t lose it.

Someone stole it.