7 - Keep Going
If you started this journey with me in the beginning, you are probably to a point that is causing problems. You may be doubting everything you do. You may have negative thoughts constantly running through your head. You might be frustrated and feel like nothing will ever change. Maybe you think you’re a loser.
Been there.
If that is you, I want you to stop and read this:
Your worth is not measured by what you do. It is who you are. And you are perfect! You need to step into that and own it.
That is what this whole process is about. Finding out who you are.
When I say perfect, I don’t mean some unattainable version of perfection. I mean that you were created to be a certain person, and you are that person. Step into who you are and quit fighting it. Quit trying to figure out who everyone else thinks you should be. Be you!
If you ask, and sometimes even if you don’t ask, people will tell you who they think you should try to be. But they don’t know you. They may recognize some of your talents, but they don’t know what your heart is trying to tell you. Only you are able to hear the quiet whisper of your dreams, begging to come to reality.
It’s comfortable to slip back into old ruts when things get hard. But that isn’t healthy. Walking our path requires a lot of work. Most people don’t want to put in the effort. But it’s worth it. Trust me!
Putting one foot in front of the other, on purpose, takes energy. After a while, you start to notice how out of whack your life is. It’s not that things have gotten worse, it’s that you are aware. You realize you aren’t walking the path of purpose. You’re just walking aimlessly, wandering where the wind takes you. And you get tired. So you are tempted to drop back into what is easy. Or maybe, you blink and you’re sitting on the sideline again, not even sure when you got off the ride.
If therapy is something you’re considering, put feet to your thoughts. There’s nothing wrong with wanting help. I used to be embarrassed about needing therapy. Not any more! I own it, I share it. Quite honestly, it wouldn’t hurt if everyone saw a therapist. It can be a really good thing, to find someone who will walk with you through this ugly mess called life. Friends are great. There’s just something extra that comes from a good therapist.
But finding a good therapist sucks, I’ll admit it. It’s like dating, seeing if the person fits. And when you NEED therapy, you don’t FEEL like sifting through all the duds. Dig deep and find enough energy to look at it as interviewing someone for a job, because honestly, that is what you are doing. A therapist isn’t doing you a favor seeing you. You pay them. They work for you. So find the right one!
I am blessed to have found a good therapist, but I sifted through a lot of asshats to get to where I am. My best advice would be to ask why they do what they do. Is there a passion to “help” people or “fix” people? (By the way, you don’t need fixed, you need helped.) Find out how big their ego is. How much do they talk as opposed to listening? You should know a little bit about their background, but your sessions should not consist of you listening to them. They should help you work through your problems in a healthy way, and support you as you do so.
I have a hard time writing about my two worst therapists. I wrote, and rewrote this paragraph several times, always deleting. Let’s just say a lot of harm was done. My anger for them fuels my workouts, and we’ll leave it at that for now.
The most important thing to know is this: we’re all crazy. Every single one of us. Some are just better at hiding it. So don’t let anyone make you feel less than them.
Bottom line, I want to encourage you.
Keep going.