Blog Post Title One

Nothing but the truth now. Nothing but the proof of what I am.
The worst of what I came from, patterns I'm ashamed of. Things that even I don't understand.

I tried to fix it, I tried to fight it. My head was twisted, my heart divided.
My lies all collided. I don't know why I didn't trust you to be on my side.

I broke into a million pieces, and I can't go back. But now I'm seeing all the beauty in the broken glass.
The scars are part of me, darkness and harmony. My voice without the lies, this is what it sounds like.

Why did I cover up the colors stuck inside my head? I should've let the jagged edges meet the light instead.
Show me what's underneath, I'll find your harmony. The song we couldn't write, this is what it sounds like.

We're shattering the silence, we're rising, defiant. Shouting in the quiet, "You're not alone!"
We listened to the demons, we let them get between us. But none of us are out here on our own.

So we were cowards, so we were liars. So we're not heroes, we're still survivors!
The dreamers, the fighters, no lying, I'm tired. But dive in the fire, and I'll be right here by your side.

That is part of the lyrics to the song, “What it sounds like” from the movie, KPOP Demon Hunters. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend giving it a watch. It was a sensation for a reason.

When I first saw it, I had two reactions. I loved it, but it also made me uncomfortable. Whenever anyone talked about it, I smiled and said it was a great movie. But I didn’t want to watch it a second time and I certainly didn’t want to listen to the soundtrack. I couldn’t put my finger on why, but I also didn’t want to dig around and find out.

Recently, while working out, this song came up. Because I wear headphones and blast the music, the lyrics hit me. So I replayed them. Again and again. Now, a song I barely acknowledged has become my anthem. It’s weird how music can do that.

I’m not going to lie. I’ve been struggling lately. I honestly feel like this happens a lot, but the truth is, it’s because I’m always working towards being better. That takes work.

If I didn’t care, if “good enough” was actually good enough, then I could get off the trauma train and live a fairly calm existence. But I don’t want to do that. I want to do better, be better, live better. Not better than anyone else, but better than I have in my past. My past.

I do have to be careful not to strive for perfection. Because I can’t win that game. I will never be perfect. Even though, in my youth, it was expected. “Perfection” is average and “average” is disappointing.

Honor roll, As, Honor Society, scholarships.. all of that was expected not rewarded. I didn’t do anything

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Stephen Kirk / Hong Jun Park / Jenna Andrews / Ejae / Jeong Hun Seo / Daniel Rojas / Mark Sonnenblick / Hee Dong Nam / Joong Gyu Kwak / Yoo Han Lee

What It Sounds Like lyrics © Yg Entertainment, Wc Music Corp., Maisie Beats, Maisie Anthems, Sixteen Sound Music, The Black Label Inc.