T+1 Days

The day of surgery, a person should expect to feel bad afterwards. It’s still a shock, but somewhat expected. And I was prepared to feel horrible. But things were better than I expected.

When I had my pre-surgery hospital appointment, we talked about everything that I would need to do. Which medicines I needed to stop ahead of time. Which were ok to take the morning of. Any allergies I had. And the last question was this: what did I want the hospital staff to know about me?

My family and I discussed my answer a lot leading up to the big day. It was kind of sad. I just wanted them to be nice.

I told the lady, I’ve had a lot of surgeries, but it’s still scary. I have a lot of food allergies, and I know they are hard to work around, but I take my own food to make it easier. And the hardest part for me is after surgery. I come out of anesthesia hysterical. But I can’t take morphine. Please don’t give me morphine!

I told the lady that I have been to the store a lot of times, and I know how to act there. I have been to many public places, and I know how to act. But when I come out of surgery, the mask is gone. I am scared and feel lost, surrounded by strangers. It reminds me when I was a child and would get lost in a store.

Because they knew this, they made a plan ahead of time. They would put me in a private recovery room after surgery and bring in my husband as soon as possible. And no bad drugs to “calm me down.”

Guess what? It worked!

Yes, I was hysterical and crying when I woke up. But my husband was there to take my hand.

I calmed down quicker. I was ready to go home quicker.

I have spent my entire life trying to hide who I am. A sensitive, easily startled girl. I grew up around people who saw sensitivity as a weakness. The whole world saw sensitivity as a defect. But things are changing.

More and more children have been born, and are being born, that are sensitive.

The thing is, I needed care and compassion yesterday. Maybe more than other patients. Or, maybe all patients need that, regardless of how sensitive they are.

And because those nurses and techs and doctors poured kindness onto me, I was able to leave the hospital sooner, feeling better.