21 - Commentating my Life

I am so freaking excited about what I have been up to the last week!

When I am thinking about the stories I write, there is always a picture or movie in my mind as well. A visual representation of what I am trying to say. And then I describe it. Sometimes, I think I do a pretty good job of putting it into words. Other times, not so much.

My mind is always doing that. Commentating my life as I’m living it. Showing movies of my thoughts. Acting out conversations that I haven’t had. Constantly.

Yesterday, I had a fictional argument with my daughter’s future husband about the fact that I bought her socks that matched mine. She isn’t married. Nor is she even dating.

Is that normal?

What, really, is the definition of normal?

If we tried to define it, it would be one person’s (or one group of people who think similarly) idea of what we should or shouldn’t do.

Ok, I’m going to go ahead and say that having an imaginary argument with a person who doesn’t even exist is a bit…eccentric. We could work together and put out a pretty compelling argument that I shouldn’t be allowed to interact with the public. But I do think there is another side to this.

The reason I have these crazy scenarios in my mind is because I am always thinking. Always. Always. Always. It never stops. Ever.

I have a spaghetti mind that starts somewhere. Now, where does it start? Pretty much as soon as I wake up. Thought-that leads to other thought-that leads to other thought-that leads to other thought. The only time it jumps tracks to another line of thinking is when I see something/somebody says something/I hear something that takes me down a completely different path. I follow that line of spaghetti until it happens again and I jump, once again, to a new strand.

My husband is a box thinker. It doesn’t mean he isn’t creative, that certainly isn’t true. It means when he is thinking about something, he is in that box, thinking about that thing, until he moves to another box.

Years and years ago, I read a book called, “Men are Waffles, Women are Spaghetti.” It accurately described the differences between us. Let me tell you, it was very eye opening! And helped us to understand each other better.

But lately, I’ve noticed some other things that contribute to who I am. Besides just being a spaghetti thinker.

There are a lot of sentences that begin with, “There are two types of people in this world…” It then will say something like introverted and extroverted. Liberal or conservative. People who don’t like pineapple on their pizza, and people who are wrong. (By the way, that’s a joke. I have kids who strongly debate their side when we go out to get pizza.)

All I’m saying is that people like to think we could divide everything into “this” or “that.” You either really love coffee, or really hate it. You either put up Christmas decorations really early, or you wait until December 1. You either love classical music, or hate it.

But that isn’t true. I mean, of course some people have really strong opinions about things. But a lot of us live quite calmly in the middle. And that’s ok.

And the middle where I live contains a lot of different qualities.

If I went to Starbucks, I would order a coffee with oat milk. And if they didn’t have it, I would have to walk away. Not because I’m a snob, but because that’s the only thing I can have.

If I am around a lot of people, especially crowds that are tight, I need a lot of recovery time. I get drained and need to shut down for a while.

I am a strong empath, so if I hear a story of intense pain and suffering, I can’t handle it. I can’t get it out of my mind.

I want to give hugs to those I care for, but don’t want to shake hands with strangers.

What I’m saying is that I may look one way, but often it is deceiving. I look like a snob at the coffee shop, I look like I enjoy crowds, I am sympathetic to people’s stories so they want to tell me every detail, I look super friendly because I give hugs or like a jerk because I won’t shake hands.

The thing is, just like you, I am unique. No one else is exactly like me. No one thinks exactly like me. No one likes the exact same things as me. No one views the world exactly like me.

Or you.

And that’s a good thing. I was made this way, as wacky as I am, on purpose. So I could fulfill my purpose.

And you’re made the way you are on purpose. So you can fulfill your purpose.

Some of our qualities may overlap, and some may be on completely opposite ends of the spectrum. But that’s ok. I’m not supposed to be doing your thing and you’re not supposed to be doing mine.

So, that thing I was talking about earlier… You know, how I talk to myself and commentate my life? It’s a little weird. Maybe. But I recently found out how that oddly-shaped Lego piece (the one I wish didn’t exist) fits into my purpose. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, click here for 2 - Who Are You?)

You know how I picture the stories I want to share? I’m learning how to draw that out. And put them into a video.

It’s another way to get my voice out into the world. Another way to encourage and hopefully speak to a whole new group of people.

My purpose is to love people and encourage them to find their purpose, their passion, their place in this world so they can live their best life! And I think this weird Lego piece will help me do that through animation.

Fingers crossed!